Try to Identify and Not Compare

Home / Choosing a Rehab Facility / Try to Identify and Not Compare


Try to Identify and Not Compare

At one of our first meetings, a predecessor may have said to us “try to identify and not compare”. That being said, the disease still tried to convince us we didn’t belong. We told ourselves all sorts of nonsense in attempts to disqualify ourselves. At the time we may have been angry, bitter, and unapproachable. Perhaps, going to meetings seemed like punishment, or we were just going to get so and so off our back, or to get a paper signed. Whatever the reason, we kept going because we “had” to. Then, maybe months later, during our normal routine of sitting through another meeting just watching the clock, when we least expected it, someone told our story. Our story, the same delusional thoughts, the same intense feelings, the same erratic behavior, and the same tiny little details we thought nobody would ever understand nor talk about. For maybe the first time, we experienced staggering identification that cut us at the core and just like that, the seed was planted, and it became pretty difficult for us to continue to build a case for why we don’t qualify here. Finally, we felt the sense of belonging we so desperately needed. “Maybe, just maybe, these people do understand…”

The best message of recovery is an honest one. From the heart touches the heart. When we are asked to speak at a meeting we are encouraged to watch out for wanting to sound like this or that. We naturally have to watch out for the ego that wants to drop the biggest, most profound recovery bomb in history. This type of thinking is how the message of recovery gets diluted. The newcomer is the most important person in any meeting. If we are so consumed by trying to sound like someone else, or by how we want to be perceived rather than telling the truth, then we might be robbing the newcomer of their ability to identify with us. It might be the smallest, most obscure detail of our story that the newcomer identifies with. Identification is one of recovery’s most valuable tools. Denial, for most of us, is a vault that has been so carefully and meticulously constructed, we believed nothing could break into it, but in the recovery process, identification has been known to pick the lock.

At Seabrook, we customize our treatment plans to individual patient’s needs, so you know the help you’re getting is right for you or a loved one. Seabrook has rehabilitation centers in New Jersey (NJ), Pennsylvania (PA), and an outpatient center in New York (NY). Contact Seabrook today for any questions about drugs, addiction, and treatment.