The Gift of Desperation: The Human Spirit
Most of us enter rehab in a state of complete and utter despair. We come in broken, beat up and worn out by the disease of addiction. When taking a hard look at it, we know in our hearts it took an awful lot for us to get here. The literature states that “when we were beaten we became willing”, this means willing to try something different, a new way of life.
In active addiction we fed our disease the best we possibly could, and at the same time we were destroying our spirits. We numbed ourselves with drugs and different combinations of drugs, we hurt our loved ones, lying became a reflex, we manipulated and threatened people to get what we wanted, guilt, shame and embarrassment invaded our lives. Resentment, self-hatred and failure consumed us, and a lot of us lived like this for a very long time. The literature states that we were “spiritually bankrupt”. The disease had taken over and our spirits were broken, so broken that we were willing try something different.
Sometimes entering rehab or making a decision to go to our first meeting, or deciding to come clean to a loved one are all evidence of a miracle taking place. The miracle here is that the human spirit did not give up, it’s amazing at how much the human spirit can endure without giving out. In the midst of all this spiritual pain and suffering somehow came the birth of another chance for us. We received yet another chance and yet we did absolutely nothing to deserve it. This is what we call the “Grace of God”. Slowly but surely we start to notice that we haven’t used in a few days. Then we start to notice the sun shining and the birds chirping, we catch ourselves smiling or laughing for the first time in a while. This is undeniable evidence that the spirit is awakening. When we truly internalize this how could we possibly remain in denial that a higher power working in our lives. This is a spiritual program, and this is only the beginning…