How to Help Your Adult Child in Recovery

Watching a child struggle with alcohol use disorder (AUD) or substance use disorder (SUD) is one of the most painful experiences a parent can face. While recovery is a deeply personal journey for someone, the role of family—particularly parents—remains incredibly important. Here are some key actions parents can take to help their adult child’s recovery.

Participate in Family Counseling

Addiction often affects not just the individual but also the entire family structure, creating tension, mistrust, and sometimes enabling behaviors. Family counseling offers a way to address these issues in a supportive, professional environment. Additionally: 

• The American Psychological Association states that “family psychology addresses a broad array of clinical problems as well as relational problems” that might contribute to the development of SUD and AUD. 
• Family therapy helps everyone understand the science and nature of SUD and AUD and how their interactions can either support or hinder recovery.
• For parents, counseling also provides tools to interact with their child in healthy ways, manage their own emotions, and learn how to build supportive relationships.

A collaborative, progressive environment also helps a person with AUD or SUD directly address and resolve circumstances that might have resulted in past conflict. With the right moderation, everyone becomes more aware of how challenging it is to talk with family members about addiction, and what’s necessary to encourage open, honest communication.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Both parents and their adult child must establish clear boundaries. Boundaries promote essential self-care and ownership of the recovery process. On the Al-Anon Family Group Support site, a mother writes about her son, “I sometimes have to set boundaries and distance myself from his unacceptable behaviors, but I can do it with love.” 

Here are some tips from Psych Central for building and preserving healthy boundaries: 

• Determine what guidelines need to be set. This includes identifying what’s important to you and why. 
• Be clear and consistent. Let your child know exactly what behaviors aren’t acceptable and what the consequences will be. Be firm but compassionate.
• Don’t rescue them. Avoid stepping in to fix situations caused by their behavior, such as paying for legal fees or bailing them out of jail.
• Protect your well-being. It’s okay to say “no” when your child asks for help that could compromise their recovery or harm your mental health.
• Communicate directly when a boundary is crossed. “While you might need to raise your concerns, these discussions need not be confrontational,” Psych Central notes. It advises gently acknowledging the behavior while re-stating your boundary threshold.

Encourage Open Communication 

Non-judgmental conversations are the foundation of a supportive relationship. Unfortunately, parents often struggle with how to talk to their recovering child, fearing any conversation might make them defensive or prompt a relapse. 

The key to success is empathy. Approaching communication with understanding and compassion helps your child feel advocated for rather than criticized. Ask your family therapist to expand on methods that enable you to: 

• Be an active listener. Avoid interrupting or judging your child. Instead, listen attentively and let them express themselves freely.
• Avoid blame. Instead of focusing on past mistakes, emphasize progress and the steps they’re taking toward recovery.
• Offer encouragement. Celebrate small victories and reaffirm your belief in their ability to recover.
• Be patient. Recovery is often a long, bumpy road, so be ready for setbacks and continue supporting them with love and care.

Boost Healthy Habits 

A major part of recovery involves rebuilding a sense of normalcy and structure in daily life. Parents can help their adult children recover by reinforcing positive lifestyle changes that align with their recovery goals. You can promote healthy habits in many ways, such as: 

• Encourage physical activity. According to the Mayo Clinic, physical activity reduces stress and anxiety, improves mood, and helps regulate the brain’s chemical balance, all of which support recovery. So invite your child to join you for walks or to engage in other enjoyable forms of exercise.
• Provide nutritious meals: Offer healthy meals that support physical and mental wellness.
• Create a stable environment: Ensure that their living space is calm and supportive of their recovery, avoiding triggers like substances or chaotic situations.

Educate Yourself About AUD and SUD 

Parents who educate themselves on the biological, emotional, and social aspects of AUD and SUD develop greater empathy and patience for their child’s struggles. You’ve probably done a lot already to understand the nature of your child’s condition and looked into various resources that provide more insight. 

Although it’s not your job to help your loved one stay in recovery, you have a strong position to provide them with stability and guidance that reinforces their efforts. Try doing this by:  

• Promoting therapy. Offer to help your child find a therapist or counselor who specializes in recovery or different forms of complementary treatment such as EMDR. 
• Support attendance at meetings. Encourage your child to attend peer groups like Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous, where they can find community and understanding. Make sure you’re caring for yourself, too, by visiting Al-Anon and other meetings with people who relate to what you’ve been through as well.
• Respect their autonomy. While offering encouragement, remember that your child’s recovery journey is ultimately their responsibility. 

Discover More Solutions at Seabrook

To find the best resources and results, we invite you to participate in The Family Matrix Program at Seabrook. Our four award-winning treatment centers in New Jersey are CARF-accredited facilities—a designation that ensures best practices in evidence-based addiction recovery and behavioral health. Our board-certified medical professionals work with loved ones to explore relationships and discuss disease-related topics in depth. 

Seabrook’s experienced and caring counselors use vision boards and mindfulness techniques to help family members solidify the Family Matrix experience with common goals that propel the group forward with a new spirit. If you’re ready for this new level of healing, call our admissions team today.