Whether you’re new to addiction rehabilitation or building a better life in recovery, it’s always helpful to know how to work the 12-Steps to your advantage. One critical part of any 12-step program is sponsorship—how can you make the most of it and develop beyond where you are now? We have some suggestions.

Why Sponsorship Matters  

Most 12-Step programs, especially those for addiction recovery, have a sponsorship component. This is a partnership between you and another individual who’s more than one year into recovery and familiar with the process. Your sponsor isn’t supposed to be your new best friend as much as a guiding light through the program. You’ll most certainly experience down days or be triggered. At times, you might feel resentment, pain, guilt, shame, or fear. Sometimes it seems easier to give up than push forward. 

Having someone in your life with a full understanding of what you’re going through was the initial intent of Bill W. and Dr. Bob when they created Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in 1935—considered the foundation of many other 12-Step programs. AA’s archives note that when Bill W. was in the first few months of sobriety, he “was stricken with a powerful urge to drink, and this thought came to him: ‘You need another alcoholic to talk to…you need another alcoholic as much as he needs you!’” When he met Dr. Bob, the two realized that “through sharing, their own sober lives could be enriched beyond measure.” 

This is one of the primary reasons why many people believe following a 12-Step philosophy is successful for achieving sobriety: you’re never alone in the process. Similar to alumni recovery programs, this larger support network provides a valuable community. But having another individual to not only rely on but also hold you accountable for your choices is what prompts effective, long-lasting change. 

Research also suggests that individuals who act as sponsors benefit in numerous ways as well. For example, results from a 2021 study indicates that “over the longer term, sponsorship becomes a meaningful and purposeful activity as it allows those providing it to be productive, make meaning and maintain a non-addicted identity. Additionally, sponsorship is a process which is beneficial for those who have little access to wider social networks.” 

12 Ways to Make the Most of Your 12-Step Sponsorship

Many people are concerned they won’t get along with their sponsor. This is a valid point, so remember, choose someone with qualities you admire and who has experience with the program. Although you’re not supposed to be best buddies, you should feel safe, trust in the sponsor’s intentions, and believe they’re just as invested in your sobriety as you are—even if you don’t always agree with their perspective. Here are some other tips for success.

1. Focus on clear communication. This is the backbone of an effective partnership. Share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with each other regularly.
2. Set clear expectations. Define your goals, roles, and responsibilities from the outset. Having a full understanding of what each person expects from the partnership prevents misunderstandings later on.
3. Actively participate. Be engaged in your own recovery journey. Take initiative in scheduling meetings, completing assignments, and following through on commitments made with your sponsor.
4. Listen and learn. Remain open and attentive to your sponsor’s guidance and advice. They have valuable experience and insights to share, so be receptive to their suggestions.
5. Be honest. This is crucial for making progress in recovery, so although it might be difficult sometimes, be authentic with your sponsor about thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
6. Trust the process. There will be many times while working the 12 Steps when it feels uncomfortable or challenging. The sponsor/sponsee relationship is designed to help you move through these moments and develop a new perspective. 
7. Be reliable. Keep in mind your sponsor might have other sponsees along with regular responsibilities. So honor your commitments and show up for meetings, check-ins, and other agreed-upon interactions. 
8. Respect Boundaries. This is another essential aspect of mutual trust, and both you and your sponsor have boundaries that are vital to growth. Neither one of you should feel pressured to share more than you’re comfortable with or to take actions you’re not ready for.
9. Utilize resources. Take advantage of the resources and support offered by your sponsor and the 12-step program. Attend meetings, read literature, and reach out for help when needed.
10. Practice patience. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and a successful recovery won’t be, either. Your sponsor understands this and can help you learn to be patient with yourself. 
11. Celebrate milestones. Receiving a sobriety chip and maybe even heralding your “soberversary” are essential progress reminders, but so is acknowledging the achievements you’ve accomplished with your sponsor.
12. Express gratitude. When you focus on aspects of gratitude, it boosts your mental health. So be sure to thank your sponsor for their support, guidance, and commitment to your recovery. Let them know how much their help means to you and how it’s impacted your life.

Build a Better Recovery at Seabrook

Within the framework of The Seabrook Model, we address many essential aspects of transition from inpatient and outpatient treatment into independent living, and 12-Step programs are a top recommendation. They’re just another recovery tool you can use to create a solid future of wellness. At Seabrook’s four award-winning addiction treatment centers in New Jersey, we understand that recovery is a journey, and our board-certified medical team provides a clear roadmap of how you can travel with confidence.