The 12 Steps
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Do you wish your thoughts and your mind would stop racing? Are the feelings of guilt and remorse too much for you to bear? If you could only find a way to make it stop… If there was only a switch in your brain that you could flip, so you weren’t obsessed with the thought of when your next escape will come. Perhaps if you took a little break from your addiction, you would feel better. Perhaps then you could get a grip on it instead of it having a grip on you. Sound familiar? Well, taking a break never worked for this alcoholic. My thinking never changed. My life never changed. My friends never changed. My life without alcohol only got worse, so I drank again. I lived in the resentment that I couldn’t drink like a normal person and that my life was over without alcohol. I soon realized my life was over with alcohol. I was nearing the end. It was time to make a decision.
The 12 steps showed me how my powerlessness was destroying me, but by plugging into a higher power that I came to believe in, I did not have to remain powerless, as long as I was not trying to make things happen my way. No, I had to surrender to that power so that His will, not mine could be done. Then, I took a long look at all my fears and resentments and how they had molded me into the raging, depressed alcoholic I had become. Then I shared my deepest darkest secrets with someone I trusted, another alcoholic, who wasn’t the least bit surprised or impressed by anything I had done. After that burden was lifted from my conscience, I spent some time in prayer with this newfound power, who showed me the areas of my character I needed to work on first. As I made a list of people I hurt, I again sought direction from another alcoholic for advice on how to make my amends .I was astonished that some of these people were so happy I got sober, they cried tears of joy! I didn’t know anyone cared, because all I could ever see was me. To make sure I stay in good spiritual condition, I have to look at my behavior every day, and make amends to those I hurt right away. It’s not as hard as it sounds and it’s a lot less painful then living with guilt and resentment. Asking my higher power to show me who He wants me to be everyday and sitting quiet so I can hear the answer, helps this recovering alcoholic stay spiritually fit, so I can go anywhere normal people go. Now when someone asks for my help, I can offer them a solution to all their problems, just like another alcoholic did for me. In a nut shell, those are your twelve steps.